My Christmas Gift to Me (with notes)
I decide to give myself a Christmas gift this year by creating a Blog.
With a lot of help from my oldest daughter in finding a server (1) to create this Blog, I am off and running, or should I say off and walking all over the keyboard (2)
Though there are some generational factors involved with this modern technology like Windows (3) or Mac (4), Internet (5), web (6), on-line (7), offline (8), log on (9), log off (10), monitor (11) the Blog types of software (12), just to name some of the better known terms, I am a relatively quick study so…. I will be posting somewhat regularly and with help from my daughter I will be posting some photos of San Diego on Christmas day in the near future.
Regarding that generational factor (and to show my age as a boomer), when I was growing up in Minnesota the “average”, high powered mainframe (13) computer was from IBM, was about the size of two suburban homes combined, used vacuum tubes to process information, consumed massive amounts of electricity which in turn gave off massive amounts of heat due to the vacuum tubes,used punch cards and magnetic tape (pre-hard drive (14)) for storage of data (15), and was the “Wave of the Future” because is would create the “Paperless Office”
Today, my nine year old laptop (16) fits on my lap, uses chips (17) for processors, has the processing power of maybe a couple hundred of the mainframes described above, runs for about three to four hours when word processing before needing a charge, runs cool unless it’s on my lap and I block the ventilation holes then it will start warming up real quick then quit if I don’t catch it in time, obsolete the moment I purchased it, and the “Paperless Office” is still a pipe dream because as humans, we print using dot matrix (18) or ink jet printers because we still like the feel of paper in our hands when reading.
Notes:
1. Server: A waitress. Male Server: A male waitress (rather rare in Minnesota)
2. Keyboard: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere and the pick-up trucks.
3. Windows: What you shut when it’s cold outside.
4. Mac: Old Dan Matrix’s favorite fast food.
5. Internet: Where cafeteria workers put their hair or a complicated fishing net repair.
6. Web: What a spider makes. Web Site: what’s found in the corners of high ceilings.
7. Online: Good sign that there will be clean clothes this week or where to stand when taking the sobriety test.
8. Offline: When the clothespins let go and the laundry falls to the ground.
9. Log On: Make the wood stove hot.
10. Log Off: Don’t add any more wood.
11. Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
12. Software: The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonalds.
13. Mainframe: What holds the house up… Hopefully.
14. Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter.
15. Digital: The art of counting on you fingers. Byte: What the mosquitoes do. Bit: What the mosquito did. Ram: The thing that splits the firewood.
16. Lap Top: Where the beer spills when you pass out.
17. Chips: Munchies for TV or those things in a cow pasture you don’t step in.
18. Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix’s wife.
Add comment December 25, 2008
